Self-Anointed Mayor Of Muffinville Suggests Fate for Kids on Bluegrass: Ship them off to China

The Self-Anointed Mayor Of Muffinville (of no relation to the music festival of the same name, and the professed pretender to the title of spiritual heir of Emperor Norton of Goat Island), has expressed the deepest concern regarding recent warnings of unruly bands of youth "getting-off" on bluegrass. "I don't care what color the grass, it is not good to have these kids on any kind of grass" declares the Mayor Of Muffinville (or "MOM"). Furthermore, MOM notes, "the bluegrass has only recently been cut, and is somewhat stubbly and difficult to walk on in bare feet." And, as if this is not enough, as a further warning, MOM recounts that last year there were spectacularly colored, but dangerously ominous glowing balls and unidentified flying objects hovering over the bluegrass at night, that should be a clear warning to any youth venturing too far afield in an attempt to try out the bluegrass for the first time.

"Unruly youth who are twitching and itching on that bluegrass should be shipped off to China" says MOM, "and suffer the fate of (you guessed it): youth in Asia."