In a move that has ruffled the feathers of the academic community worldwide, Playboy Millionaire Hank Gimme, manager of the yet undefeated professional horseshoe team, 'The Weasels', and owner of the Meadow Drive-in theater, has abruptly said, "Up Yours!" to top scientists planning to name a newly discovered galaxy in his honor. 'Big deal, so what ?', said Gimme in a recent interview. 'Look, anybody can get a star or blackhole named after them for fifty bucks, I wanted something special, I own a goddamn Egyptian pyramid for chrissakes, so it has to be real classy ... So I got this idea, I went to Steven Hawking, the Big Brain, the 'Go To Man' in that slimy world of science. He tried to reassure me that having a galaxy named after me was a big honor'. I looked him eyeball to eyeball and said, 'Screw that, Brainiac! I want you to name the Big Dipper after me, and right away too! I slammed 3 million bucks down to make sure it was a done deal and walked out. You will all be so sorry that you tried to slight my image! And speaking of sorry, that's what I should rename the annual joke known as Meadow Muffin,-Sorry! For years my Weasels have gone to this quagmire of loserdom mostly to give the local hicks some charitable pity play with superstar level celebs. For years I endured punks and hippies puking and screwing within ten feet of my Hummer! I finally got used to it, but now there's talk of a 'New Muffin', thats more 'family oriented'. "As owner and operator of the Meadow Drive-In, I say ,'SCREW YOU ALL', no one ever tells me what to do. So from now on it will be nightly showings of the raunchiest explicit porn I can find and I will rub your noses in it until you scream for more.
Muffinscape XXXII (http://darron.smugmug.com)
Friday, March 23, 2007
Weasels Manager Playboy Millionaire Hank Gimme Rejects Top Scientific Honor, Thumbs Nose at "New" Muffin (CLICK ORANGE HEADER FOR THE LATEST POST!)
In a move that has ruffled the feathers of the academic community worldwide, Playboy Millionaire Hank Gimme, manager of the yet undefeated professional horseshoe team, 'The Weasels', and owner of the Meadow Drive-in theater, has abruptly said, "Up Yours!" to top scientists planning to name a newly discovered galaxy in his honor. 'Big deal, so what ?', said Gimme in a recent interview. 'Look, anybody can get a star or blackhole named after them for fifty bucks, I wanted something special, I own a goddamn Egyptian pyramid for chrissakes, so it has to be real classy ... So I got this idea, I went to Steven Hawking, the Big Brain, the 'Go To Man' in that slimy world of science. He tried to reassure me that having a galaxy named after me was a big honor'. I looked him eyeball to eyeball and said, 'Screw that, Brainiac! I want you to name the Big Dipper after me, and right away too! I slammed 3 million bucks down to make sure it was a done deal and walked out. You will all be so sorry that you tried to slight my image! And speaking of sorry, that's what I should rename the annual joke known as Meadow Muffin,-Sorry! For years my Weasels have gone to this quagmire of loserdom mostly to give the local hicks some charitable pity play with superstar level celebs. For years I endured punks and hippies puking and screwing within ten feet of my Hummer! I finally got used to it, but now there's talk of a 'New Muffin', thats more 'family oriented'. "As owner and operator of the Meadow Drive-In, I say ,'SCREW YOU ALL', no one ever tells me what to do. So from now on it will be nightly showings of the raunchiest explicit porn I can find and I will rub your noses in it until you scream for more.
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Muffin Flash Mob (2005)
7 comments:
I guess this give new meaning to Muffin XXX!
Impressive rant - I'm expecting a lot more, too.
So Mr. Big - anti-family-oriented - my 15-year old daughter & girl friends will not be arriving clad in their all girls Catholic (micro) uniforms to cheer you on since you are so IMPORTANT & have a HUMMER which you better arrive in with a magnificent cape, unlike the flimsy ones you have had in the past, and are eaten away by moths!!! They will cheer on the opposition & cheer on the Mountain Boys!! Too bad!! A disgruntled MOM!
I wouldn't walk across the street to watch "the weasels" play horseshoes. I'd rather eat ham,
Jeez... Wait til he hears about the Christian Rock band we hired.
EMERGENCY RULE CHANGE!!!!
In an effort to get to the shoe throwing soonest, horseshoe tourney signups will start on Saturday; if enough names are collected, round 1 of the Meadow Muffin XXXII InterGalactic Horseshoe Tourney may start Saturday afternoon. So sign up soon and sign up often! Get yer' partner, a team name and find the guy with the clipboard!
The Judge
As an official, bona fide (yeah, from The Judge hisself) recipient of the "Order of the Muffin," I hereby declare that I will once again drop my pants if Mr. Hank "Big Load" Gimme doesn't for once come up with some real porn as he continually threatens every friggin' year. Yeah, that's right, every year it's porn this, porn that. But where's the beef? If he had any sense of economic honor, he'd be out there with his techno-whizjiz hardhat cam video taping those very hippies screwing next to his Hummer. But no; it's another GOLDEN opportunity missed. I mean, what better porn is there than of all your old, gray haired, red-eyed, drugged up and crazed hippie friends doin' it?
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